Danger! Don’t be a woman
This is a piece I wrote and shared on my Instagram in May 2024, in response to the ongoing crisis of femicide in Australia.
Danger! Don’t Be A Woman
Do you want to go for an evening walk?
Well, make sure you've finished everything you need to do today by 4:45pm, because you need a quick 15 to get ready for your walk, and you need to make sure you're back with enough time to spare, because at this time of year it starts getting dark around 5:30.
Do you want to listen to music? Make sure it's quiet enough that you can still hear what's going on around you. You need to at least be able to hear footsteps. And what direction is the sun shining? If it's shining the right direction, you can keep an eye on the shadows of people who are approaching from behind you, and to see how close they're getting to you, and when they get so close that they're about to pass you. That is, hoping that they actually do just pass you. And make sure your route is in the open, and not too bushy or covered by trees.
Maybe a morning walk is better for you? Well, you start work at 9am, and you need to leave the house by 8:15, so you need to be home by 7:45 at the latest. But it's only light enough to leave the house at 7 am. Oh, but you want to go for a walk or run that's longer than 45 minutes? Either get someone to come with you, or it's too bad.
Don't forget, you have to be aware of going out in the middle of the day too. Taking a drive somewhere? Locking your doors needs to be the first thing that you do when you step foot inside your car. Not your seatbelt. Not the key in the ignition. Not putting your foot on the brake. Doors. Locked.
Are you thinking about where you're going to park when you get there? It can't be in a street that's too far from your destination. Especially not an alleyway. Especially not near any vans or trucks. But remember there could still be a van parked nex to you when you get back there later. That's out of your control.
On that note, have you left enough time to find a park that's close enough to where you need to be? Because when you leave work, the sunlight is starting to go down. So you can't be walking back to your car alone because it's a) too far, b) getting dark, and c) you never know who's around.
And when you're on your way back to your car, are you analysing everything around it? Are there any people lingering around? Maybe that dreaded van is parked right next to you when the rest of the car park is empty. It's probably just a van and nothing more, but you need to get into your car as quickly as you can when you get there.
And, you've got your location shared with your close family and friends, so I guess this helps? Sort of? Maybe? Probably not. And only if you can really trust them. Like, REALLY trust them.
And I know you want to get a coffee on your way to work, but remember you can't be too nice to the barista, or the person who held the door open for you on the way in. Kindness and just being a decent human being is considered flirting, remember? And you have to make sure you don't seem like you're flirting, because that'll be giving the wrong impression. And we know what happens when we give the wrong impression. But also, don't be an asshole, and don't come across as rude.
And if you've made it through a whole day of this, guess what? You have to do it all again tomorrow.
TL;DR: Don't be a woman.
We know it’s not all men. But it IS all women.
It’s all women who have this continuous noise and inner monologue inside our minds that never quietens down, because the violence never stops.
We have to plan our day around the fact that by just existing as women, we have a constant target on our backs. And it’s fucking exhausting.
*We currently have a crisis of violence against women in Australia. In 2024, one woman has been murdered by a man on average roughly every 4 days.
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